Visa Application

Applying for visas to go on this trip is proving to be a little more complex than we first imagined and have required us to geekily devise complex flow diagrams and mathematical computations in order to arrange our passport's movements (currently our most precious assets) from embassy to embassy. Suitable contingency plans have also been factored in in case someone doesn't like the look of one of our passport mug shots and we are rejected along the way.

Most visas have a 3 month expiry date after they are issued, so firstly we can't apply for the visas too early (China, Iran). At the same time, however, we can't leave the application process too late because this will mean we need to apply for visas once we are on the road which could throw out our fairly strict itinerary such that the validity of pre-acquired visas could expire.

Some Visas are just your easy, chilled out, low-maintenence variety as they can be applied for at last minute, upon arriving at the border, with minimal expenditure and hassle (we love you Turkey and Laos). Others have slightly greater expectations and want you to work a bit harder to win their affections because although they can be applied for at anytime, they request you to specify precise arrival and departure dates which may not be changed (your alright Kyrgyzstan and Kazakhstan). Then at the other end of the scale you have your prima-donna, princess variety of Visas which expect you to woo, serenade, wine and dine them just to get the application process rolling and for all this effort, the visa may not even be granted.

For instance for the Subclass 676 Australian Tourist Visa (No I am not kidding, Aussies love labelling Visas with Mission Impossible/Bomb diffusing-esque titles), Col has to undergo a full medical and chest x-ray at his own expense, from a specified doctor in Birmingham, to check he hasn't got TB and won't infect the Aussie population unknowingly, the latter, who mind you are exempt from such checks (grrr). Turkmenistan requires us to book an entire tour and compulsory guide and plan our every pit-stop in their country prior to applying for a visa. Finally, Iran must first grant you a Visa Authorisation Number prior to granting you a Visa, which is basically code, for delaying the visa application process such that they will have ample time to google your name and check you are not affiliated with any do-gooding organisations and/or movements which plan to topple their country. When applying for visas we also have to be mindful of any impending public holidays which may delay visa processing. For instance Turkmenistan's Drop of Water is a Rain of Gold Public Holiday apparently brings all pubic services including important tourist visa processing arrangements to a stand still.

At the moment we have successfully acquired our first visa to Kyrgyzstan, the only country, which thanks to recent events, concerned family and friends wish we had never acquired a visa for. As for our passports - who recently seem to have a better social life than we do - they are currently being processed at the Kazakhstan embassy, hopefully by capable non-Borak-esque hands. In the meantime we eagerly await the results of each step in the visa processing equation like Trekkies awaiting the release of a new Star Trek sequel. To be continued...

Chrissy