For the past two and a half months we have experienced constant mechanical problems, which have proved to delay, frustrate, baffle, endanger and – at times – entertain us. These began in China, in the city of Ansi, just as we prepared ourselves for the home run to Australia, believing that – in true Driving Home style - we had left the challenging part of our journey behind. In China we visited more mechanics than tourist sights. In fact our mechanical woes proved to be a tourist attraction in themselves, as we began breaking down in the most inopportune of places – in the middle of busy intersections, while filling up our tank at the garage or at toll booths with a cue of traffic behind us. As a result, I have learnt a hell of a lot about diesel engines thanks to Col who I subjected to a daily barrage of questions on all things mechanical. It has also consequently increased the employability of our Chinese Guide (Louis Long) who’s English Vocabulary has tripled – (he is now proficient in mechanical terminology) and will no doubt impress future self-drive tourists with the Guinness Book of Record’s speed in which he can disconnect and reconnect an air inlet pipe, in order to pump it with quick start spray, to start our engine.
Here is a brief synopsis of the key mechanical related events which took place from 15th September 2010 until the present date. (To do justice to some of the places we visited, Col will later post blog entries on the interesting, non-mechanical aspects of our trip)
15th September 2010 (Hami to Ansi – Exploding Mountain)
Alongside hundreds of lorries we drive through a great ball of dust for an entire day and well into the night, after Chinese road workers detonate a nearby mountain, scattering boulders all over a main thoroughfare and forcing us to take many off-road diversions, which would make any off-road driving enthusiast, green with envy. Miranda is really smothered in dust.
16th September (Ansi to Jiayuguan – The Erratic Idling Begins)
After starting the engine, we are surprised to find that Miranda is idling erratically. We suspect that our air filter may be clogged from our dusty drive, so we drive to Jiayuguan and find the first mechanic (that understands Louis Long’s wild gesticulating impersonation of replacing an air filter) to replace our air filter. The new filter doesn’t help and Miranda is worse, as the engine turns but is difficult to start. We are told to visit a local diesel mechanic who replaces the fuel filter, suspecting it’s clogged. It takes three hours for him to bleed the air out of the fuel line, which involves lots of engine turning whilst revving the accelerator. Eventually the car starts, but is still idling erratically.
17th September (Jiayuguan – Cheap Sightseeing)
Miranda won’t start again. Ford Mechanics pay us a visit but cannot help as she is “Jin-glish made” and too old for them to fix her. Suspecting that there is still air in the fuel line, we ask the local diesel mechanic (who fitted our fuel filter) to bleed our fuel system again. It doesn’t solve the problem and he only starts Miranda, with the aid of quick start spray (a highly flammable fuel), blasted into the air inlet. We follow him to his garage. Miranda is put on the high-lift and many Chinese mechanics scurry about underneath, looking for holes in her undercarriage where air could get in. They find nothing so we drive to the Great Wall of China, but are worried about turning the engine off (in case she fails to start), so we end up erratically idling in the car park and call Gary from Frogs Island 4X4 UK to ask for advice. He suspects air getting into the fuel line or a broken fuel injector pump. We hope it’s not the costly latter! We take a memorable photo of the Great Wall at the ticket booth, probably looking like the tightest tourists in town.
18th September (Jiayuguan to Xining – The Quick Start Spray Fix )
Miranda won’t start again but we know the drill and have bought our own quick start spray. So begins the maiden attempt of our new daily ritual. Louis Long dismantles the air inlet pipe and blasts in some quick start spray, while Col turns the engine on and I rev the accelerator. The whole process takes anywhere from 5-15 minutes depending on how quickly Miranda takes to the spray. Apparently there are no other mechanics in town who can fix our “Jin-glish” engine problem and we are advised to go to a big city to find mechanics with more expertise. We drive to Xining over the foggy Tibetan Plateau – where we originally hoped to camp, before our engine trouble started. Just as the weather clears and we spot our first yak, the sun sets, at which point Miranda’s Oil Pressure Warning light also comes on. This prompts Col to drive even more carefully, to avoid putting Miranda under pressure and so we snake our way slowly along the 12,000 foot high roads in the pitch black, until we climb down to the capital of Qinghai province.
19th September (Xining – Rejected)
After starting Miranda with quick start spray we head to the local Ford Service Centre to be told that they can’t fix Miranda as they only deal with petrol based engines. A passer-by Good Samaritan takes us to two more mechanics (who also turn us down) until a Diesel Mechanic, familiar with Ford Transit engines, offers to help. The mechanic is initially perplexed by our foreign engine, but then confidently states that the problem must be our injectors and he can replace them for us, if we order new parts from the UK. An hour later \and he changes his mind, admitting that he wouldn’t feel confident working on our “Jin-glish” engine and advising us to go to an even bigger city to find more experienced mechanics. Feeling defeated we search Ford Transit forums for advice. One expert suggests injector cleaner, in case Miranda has been filled with dirty diesel.
20th – 21st September (Xining – Rejected the Sequel)
We quick start spray Miranda to life and decide to visit a Buddhist temple, but en-route we notice that the erratic idling is worse and Miranda is almost stalling at idle speed. Whenever we come to a stop, I have to put Miranda straight into park so that Col can rev the accelerator (in boy racer style) to prevent her from stalling. We cancel the sightseeing and look for a new mechanic and some Injector Cleaner. We try many places where diesel cars are found: Land Rover, Toyota, Lorry depots and Tractor mechanics all over Xining. No one has injector cleaner and no one wants to fix our “Jin-glish” made engine, staring blankly at it like it was made on another planet, even when Louis Long translates at lightning speed, gesticulating emotively. We are surprised, as we thought the Chinese could build and fix anything! During our search we begin stalling at traffic lights and intersections. Luckily, Col is able to quickly restart the car each time, so that we don’t cause too much chaos for long. Louis Long also finds some injector cleaner, which we pour straight into our tank at the nearest Fuel Station.
22nd – 23rd September (Xining to Lanzhou – Bad Injectors)
We try to quick start spray Miranda but it takes a lot longer than normal to get her going and we need time out so that we don’t bust the Starter Motor. Eventually Miranda starts and we drive to Lanzhou, the capital of Gansu province - a bigger, skyscraper dominated city, with more mechanics. The day we arrive is a public holiday and so the following morning we are up early to look for mechanics. The first mechanic looks promising due to the variety of 4WD vehicles in his garage. He can’t fix our “Jin-glish” car but he suggests someone who can and drives us there. Just as we begin to give up hope, that anyone will ever help us, a mechanic gives us the thumbs up. Suspecting that it’s an injector problem, he removes one and tests it. Under normal circumstances fuel passing through an injector should do so under such high pressure that the fuel atomises. Ours doesn’t and so we order new ones from the UK. It will take a week to arrive, so we arrange to send them to Chengdu, a city where we hope to be in one week’s time.
24th – 30th September
The injector cleaner appears to have temporarily alleviated our tendency to stall and with our parts ordered we decide to do some sightseeing in Xian (famous for the Terracotta Warriors) and Langzhong (with it’s UNESCO heritage listed old town), rather than taking the direct route to Chengdu. Unfortunately, by the time we arrive in Xian we are stalling on a whim. To add to our troubles we discover that our starter motor is now broken (probably from overturning the motor one too many times). Starting Miranda with quick start spray used to be a necessity only in the mornings, but now without a starter motor we need to use quick start spray whenever we turn off our engine or stall it. What’s more without a starter motor, we need to use a grater quantity of quick start spray to get the engine restarted. Over the next week, stalling in inopportune places en-route to Chengdu becomes a reality which either puts us in dangerous situations and/or fuels road rage, from a nation already inspired to sit on their horns continuously.
1st – 7th October (Chengdu – The Waiting Game)
We get to Chengdu to meet our injectors, but have no idea that China’s Annual Golden Week (seven day public holiday) will commence the day we arrive. The injectors make it to Guangzhou from the UK in record time but due to the public holiday they spend the entire week in Guangzhou despite our optimistic efforts to check the FEDEX tracking website daily. We are now running behind schedule and have to apply for an extension on our Chinese Permits. Incidentally Col has acquired a pressure sore from long days of driving, so on a positive note, waiting for our injectors, leaves plenty of time for bed rest.
8th – 9th October (Chengdu – False Hopes)
Our injectors finally arrive and Tracy from Chengdu based NAVO tour (who organised our Chinese permits and guide for us) arranges for her friend, a retired mechanic, to fit our new injectors for us. When the old ones come out they are covered in soot but unfortunately after all our waiting, the new ones fail to stop the erratic idling. The retired mechanic calls some local mechanics to have a go fixing our starter motor. They don’t know how to fix it, fail to find a replacement at the local market and actually break a bolt on it trying to get it out of the car. We are back to square one, but have to get a move on, before we overstay our Chinese Permits any longer. Col calls Gary to order the new starter motor to be sent to Laos and we make a plan to leave China.
10th – 12th October (Chengdu to Kunming via Zhaotong – Clumsy Chrissy
We race to get to the Chinese border in record time but are faced with a new challenge. During my maiden attempt to quick start spray Miranda in Kunming, the nozzle Louis Long gives me to make the job easier, is sucked off the bottle and into the air inlet pipe. This delays us for a day, as we seek the help of local mechanics to dismantle the piping to the cylinders. After a quick inspection, followed by a three hour lunch break, the local mechanics inform us that they can’t dismantle the pipes as they don’t have the correct tools. Luckily Gary from Frogs Island 4X4 UK comes to the rescue, informing us over the phone, that the plastic tip would have combusted and won’t be a problem. Even though we have lost time I am extremely relieved that I won’t need to buy Col a new engine for Christmas!
12th – 13th October (Zhaotong to Mengla – Stalling like it’s going out of Fashion)
We are running behind schedule again and are faced with more challenges. Miranda is not only idling erratically, but even at driving speed she is beginning to vibrate. What’s more, we are now stalling more than a learner with a driving phobia, being forced to drive through an Iranian traffic jam at gunpoint.
I.e. the stalling is now such a big problem that whenever we begin to slow down to 1st gear, Miranda conks out. This is despite my efforts to slam the gear stick into park upon coming to a stop. We are now quick start spraying at toll booths and every traffic jam, traffic light, roundabout and crossroads. We are running out of quick start spray and losing the will to drive but upon arriving at the border town of Mengla, we decide to treat Miranda to a quick car wash, in the hope it will mask her mechanical problems during tomorrows’ border crossing. This ends up being a bad move. Col stalls a total of twelve times trying to reverse out of the carwash**. We call a local mechanic, hopeful for a last minute diagnosis, but as per usual they haven’t got a clue what’s wrong with our car due to its “Jin-glish” make. Fed up with Chinese Mechanics, we bunny hop along to the first hotel with a front end parking space that we can quickly screech into without stalling.
** Col would like to remind readers that he is not a bad driver. Miranda has an automatic transmission so it’s virtually impossible to stall, unless something is wrong with the engine.
14th October (Mengla to Udomxai – Anal Chinese Border Officials)
We are up early for our border crossing, but our last minute attempts to withdraw money for a tank of diesel delay us, as every ATM and cash exchange appear to be out of cash or out of order. Despite the delay we manage to hobble to the border in time, although the place we choose to stall, irritates the stroppy border guard. He wants us to reverse as apparently we have prematurely overshot an (invisible) border crossing line before going through the necessary red tape. This results in a fifteen minute argument between Louis Long and the Border Guard. It is only when the Border Guard perhaps grasps the gravity of our engine problem and the danger it could present on Chinese Roads that he not only lets us stay put, but appears to run us through the necessary paperwork at record speed – as though he hopes to get us out of China ASAP.
14th October (Mengla to Udomxai – Laidback Laos Border Officials)
Louis Long quick starts our engine one last time, as we say our goodbyes and drive to the Laos side of the border. It is here that Col conveniently chooses to stall right outside the mandatory insecticide spraying stand. While Miranda gets de-bugged, I run through the most laidback border procedures on our trip to date. Border officials are too busy playing online poker and eyeing up their Laos Edition Playboy centre-fold ladies, to bother too much about border formalities such as checking our carnet or car. I double check that there is nothing more we need to do and explain that once we start our car we cannot stop for anyone due to the stalling problem. No one seems phased by this revelation or worried about the danger we could present on Laos roads. Given the green light, we quick start Miranda, with the help of a border official (to take the place of Louis) and drive the remaining 2km to the Laos entrance. We are disappointed to see one last customs checkpoint up ahead, which would mean that stalling would be inevitable, but luck is on our side. As we drive up to the gate, none of the customs officials bother to look up from the card game they are playing. So we tear through the gate and into Laos like we have just robbed a bank, without anyone batting an eyelid. We are extremely lucky, that Laos border officials are so laidback as we cannot imagine any other border post to date, letting us through with an engine in such bad condition!
14th October (Mengla to Udomxai – Speed)
Upon entering Laos I am immediately struck by its beauty – lush green tropical vegetation, massive butterflies and a perfect blue sky, but unfortunately poor Col needs to concentrate to make it to Udomxai. The drive is less than 100km but the roads are windy, very narrow and at times unsealed. Stalling (and then having to quick start spray Miranda) on one of these roads, with its numerous blind spots would put us in danger, due to the oncoming traffic (4wd’s and trucks) hurtling along the roads.
But, the hair pin bends make it difficult for Col to maintain speed. So to avoid stalling, Col starts driving like a police car in a high speed chase sequence (albeit in first gear he looks more like he is driving a police car in a high speed chase sequence at slow motion). I.e. he begins switching lanes at last minute, running through stop signs and doing anything possible to avoid stopping and thus stalling. We must give foreign drivers a bad reputation as we career through villages, tear around dogs, pedestrians and even steamrollers and construction sights without ever stopping or giving way.
The adrenalin rush from these moments is electrifying. It feels like we are in a runaway train hurtling towards the end of a line; or in a computer game where the object is to win a car race without hitting obstacles. At times we even feel like Keanu Reeves in the movie “Speed” where we need to keep the car moving or the car will blow up. This approach serves us well and Col impressively manages to get us to Udomxai before nightfall, as we screech into the first guesthouse car-park we can find before stalling it for the first time in Laos.
15th – 21st October (Udomxai, Meeting Hercu-LEE-s)
Due to the hair-raising drive from Mengla to Udomxai, coupled with Miranda’s deteriorating condition, Col and I talk about the options we have left for Miranda. Col’s expat friends in Vientiane (Kenyan born Katrina and her hubbie John Dingley) own a Ford and are confident in their local service centre – Laos Ford City. We plan to get Miranda there, but Vientiane is over 300km away, which on more windy, mountain roads equates to at least 16 hours more driving. We talk about hiring a transporter to take Miranda to Vientiane, but after some investigation we find out it will cost us over $1000, so can that option. Enter our equivalent of a knight in shining armor. While Col and I enjoy some tasty Laos fare, Col spots two passing Landrovers (one towing the other) – through a narrow gap in a wall. Excited by the prospect of meeting fellow overlanders, I dash outside and we become acquainted with two over-landing families, who have impressively driven from the UK and are also headed for Australia – Andy, Anne, Jessica and AJ (the Towee’s) and Helen, Beverley and Lee (the Tower’s).
It seems that things do happen for a reason. Not only do we enjoy spending time with them over the next few days, who are held up due to their own mechanical problems, but Lee (or HercuLEEs as he could be nicknamed) just so happens to be a great mechanic. Lee is a Salt of the Earth kinda bloke. Although, you’d never want to piss him off (his forearms are e so wide that he has managed to tattoo a world map with his overland route on one of them), he has a heart of gold and not only does he kindly fit our new Starter Motor, which is shipped out from the UK in record time, but he offers to take a closer look under our bonnet.
Upon closer inspection he suspects that the problem is most probably our Fuel Injector Pump, but in the meantime he notices that our fuel filter is blocked. Since we don’t have a spare fuel filter, he reconnects the pipes, so that they bypass the fuel filter. With a new starter motor and bypassed fuel filter, he manages to start our car for the first time without the aid of quick start spray. While Miranda is still idling erratically, this bypass also curbs our tendency to stall. Col and I are thrilled!
22nd – 26th October
(Udomxai to Vientiane via Luang Prabang & Phoukhon, Leaking Fuel)
Col and I are delighted. We are able to drive from Udomxai to Vientiane without the risk of stalling. While we are still erratically idling more than Krakatoa, it is so nice to stop the car at traffic lights or enter a traffic jam, without worrying about stalling, popping the bonnet and having to disconnect the air inlet pipe (in order to quick start spray the engine) without getting run over. We only encounter a couple of problems. In beautiful Luang Prabang, we drive to the local Shell Garage and find that our fuel cap is jammed. 30 minutes later, with the aid of WD40 and some pliers, a service station attendant manages to crank off the lid. We are also alarmed to smell diesel, upon stopping for a pit stop in the mountainous region south of Luang Prabang.
It seems that bypassing the fuel filter has caused fuel to drip out of the inlet pipe, but after a few phonecalls to Ford Lao City, we are informed that driving with leaking diesel is not dangerous so long as we drive carefully and look out for signs of smoke. In no time at all we are relieved to be dropping our car off at Laos Ford City to mechanics who already seem to understand the problem, aren’t perplexed by our “Jin-glish” engine and most importantly, speak English!
27th October – 27th November (Vientiane, Intermission)
Miranda has been at Laos Ford City for an entire month and we have been staying with the amazing, kind and extremely hospitable Dingleys in Vientiane for the same time. Vientiane is a great place to be stuck and we have been very lucky to have landed a bed in such a welcoming house and gotten to know the fun and entertaining Dingleys. It has taken so long to fix our car that we have met many of Katrina and John’s friends and now feel like one of the locals running into someone we know on most trips to town. Whenever we do run into someone they always ask us the same question “how is the car”? We always give the same answer “well…that’s the million dollar question…”.
While Miranda is on the road to recovery, the delay has been two fold. Firstly, ordering parts from the UK is an extremely time consuming process. We needed to order a new fuel filter and an entire fuel line, due to the mechanics suspicion that air was getting into the fuel. But this failed to solve the erratic idling problem and now it seems that the only remaining cause of our erratic idling, is the part we always hoped it wouldn’t be – our expensive fuel injector pump. It is likely that dirty black market fuel may have led to Miranda’s downfall – clogged our injectors and buggered our fuel injector pump. Since there is no fuel injector specialist willing to calibrate our pump in Vientiane, we have had to send our pump to the UK. This will set us back another two or three weeks.
As a result we have been delayed considerably and sadly it doesn’t look like we will make it to Australia for Christmas, but that is part of the challenge of travelling. On a positive note, being stuck in Laos has given us time to see Vientiane, attend to miscellaneous overdue errands, visit interesting places (such as a local NGO building wheelchairs for disabled people amongst other things),attend events linked to the recent International Cluster Munitions Conference and it has even sparked new ideas for the future. Vientiane seems to be the equivalent of an “intermission” on our trip, but we hope to be back on the road before Christmas, ready for Part 2 of our journey to Australia!
NB: This blog is dedicated to the amazing, one and only Christy, who quite rightly, in no uncertain terms, told us to pull our finger out with the blog. This ones for you daarlin!
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